pizzaforpresident: OH MY GOD My boss just texted me asking to come into work at 4:30 in the morning and I threw my phone down and was like “you’re such a faggot I fucking hate you” and then I heard the Siri confirmation noise and I picked up my phone and
scientist: the average person spends 18 hours online per week.
me: you mean per day
my puppy is so mean whenever the older dog is outside, and whining because he wants to come inside (which he cant atm because he needs a bath) my puppy will just sit there in front of the sliding door. just sit there and taunt him.
me: sometimes i talk to myself
me: omg same
01012012: you never really know someone until you talk to them at 4 am I’m texting you at 4 am then.
xvxavier: If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.
dildos-and-debutantes: rescuerhera: thejoshinator: mpregbert: ghostgiggles: if you play an instrument youre automatically 10x hotter im sorry thats just how the world works
if you wanna be friends with me all you gotta do is act like you’re already friends with me call me by my name send me porn type like you’re having a mental breakdown that’s it
We need to reclaim the word ‘feminism’. We need the word ‘feminism’ back real...– How To Be a Woman, Caitlin Moran (via petitefeministe)
heathyr: I hate it when you just randomly get hit with crippling embarrassment over something you did years ago and you’re writhing with your hands over your face trying to tell the memory to go away omg shut the fuck up Sometimes I let out a little scream when that happens, and then my mom’s like “what’s wrong?” and I’m like “Oh god the most embarrassing...
ocicats: i laugh at people who are like “we don’t need another spider-man trilogy” no you know what movie we really don’t need a katy perry documentary
Things that get better with age:
iwantcupcakes: curlingwithmetaphor: Cheese. Wine. Books. Robert Downey Jr. ULTIMATE SCENARIO: Eating cheese, washing that down with some great wine, and reading a 19th century reprint of the Marquis de Sade’s most famous works while a naked Robert Downey Jr. waits for you in the bedroom.
fuckinghardhat: drunkonstevphen: This man is beyond words. Homosnacksuals. Never change Colbert, never change.
staythaaillest: thejuicemonster: cadaverouscorpse: catwh0r3: infamousvikas: this little girl has progeria. she is going to die. she’s smiling harder than i have in weeks.. omg awww. <3 <3 this omg this<3 o m g this is beautiful <3 When people can be so happy and born so strong when life tried to knock then down, makes me believe that there is something worth...